It had been a few days since Vikas had sent Aishwarya the follow request, and then followed it with the most awkward conversation of his entire life.

It started like this:

Hey!

Hi!

My name is Vikas

I mean you know that

Uh yeah haha

I’m in your class actually haha

I knoww… that’s why i accepted your follow request lol

Haha yeah true that… i don’t know why i said that

lol

So do you tell obvious things to everyone? Or you just think im an idiot?

Let’s spare Vikas some dignity and not get into the rest of the conversation, because to be honest, it was as painful as this beginning. But it needs to be noted that, through some random talent or divine luck, he managed to save the conversation by the time it ended.

After that day, Vikas continued to talk to Aishwarya. He realised two emotions always took over him when it came to talking to her.

Intense liking and intense fear.

Every time he picked the phone to send her a message on Insta, he noticed that first his heart would jump, and he couldn’t wait to talk to her, and then his stomach would jump and he thought maybe he should send her a message later on.

But ultimately, every time, his desire to talk to her would win.

Thank God.

And Vikas would swallow his fear and beg for his body to not vomit, and open Insta to send her a message.

After a few days passed and he was still talking to her, he noticed two things; the first few messages were usually the difficult ones, and then he could talk to her just fine. Really well actually. And that as the days went by, it became easier and easier to talk to her. And way more fun.

Today, he was in the middle of giving a long lecture to Ajay about how amazing it was to talk to her, how funny she was, how nice she was, how she listened to a lot of stuff he said that he later thought was really stupid, how nice she was, how much she herself talked when she really got into it, how he had actually started to talk to a bunch of other people from class just so he could have even more stuff to talk to her about when he messaged her, how nice she was, how she —

‘Alright alright I get it damn. You’re worse than my little cousin who keeps trying to show me all the new skills he’s learned in CS,’ Ajay finally said in an exasperated voice.

Vikas looked at him weirdly, like he had said something offensive.

‘But you love CS,’ he said.

‘I do, but that doesn’t mean I'm interested in listening to Chintu talk about it non stop. Like pause and take a breath, man. Just like with you. Man I'm not interested in listening to you fawn over her. Here’s what I want to know. How long are you planning to talk — correction, message her?’

Vikas shrugged his shoulders. ‘I mean I don't know — what’s wrong with messaging her?’

Ajay looked at him like he just asked why fire is hot.

‘You did not just say that to me,’ he said, ‘Are you serious? Like what’s the game plan here? You’re going to keep messaging her? You’ll kiss her on the messages too? What, you’ll take your phone and put it up against her phone and just — ’ he then brought his palms up and rubbed them together.

Vikas didn’t answer immediately. He was distracted. His eyes had widened at the mention of some kissing to be done.

He now calmed down and dismissed Ajay. ‘Ok calm down of course that’s not — I mean — ‘ he looked around to find some words, and then said, ‘It’s just the vibe… you know? The vibe needs to be right. We’re talking right now. And then I’ll get her number.’

Ajay rolled his eyes. He looked outside the class where a group of people were standing, wasting time before the class began. ‘You know, you keep finding your vibe, and meanwhile Aishwarya is going to find someone else whom she likes and who isn’t too much of a chicken to actually ask her out.’

A great Oscar winning actor would have loved to study Vikas’ expressions in that moment, as pure horror settled on his face.

‘Wait what — Why — Did you hear something? She likes someone else?’ he asked.

‘Not her, but I know for a fact someone likes her. Actually a lot of guys like her. She’s really cute. I mean if you weren’t my friend even I — ’ he looked at Vikas’ face and immediately changed his words, ‘I’m kidding c’mon! But yeah there’s a bunch of guys who like her. And one of them is Rishi. You know Rishi, don’t you?’ he finished, pointing at the people standing outside.

Vikas’ heart sank. Of course he knew Rishi. Everyone knew Rishi.

It’s not like he was the most popular guy or anything, but Rishi was still everything that Vikas wished he was.

Rishi was calm, cool, confident and talked to more or less everyone. He even had girls as his friends. Vikas could barely talk to one girl; he had no idea how Rishi could talk to so many, even if it just meant friendship.

‘Yeah boy,’ Ajay said, observing the climate change on Vikas’ face, ‘drink that bitter medicine.’

‘No he wouldn’t — ’

‘Wouldn’t what? Talk to her? Need I remind you he has absolutely zero problems talking to girls? And he isn’t chicken like you?’

It was a sign of how deeply this new piece of information affected Vikas that he didn’t even bother reacting to Ajay’s provocation. He kept looking at Rishi. He liked that guy. At least he thought he did. Because now suddenly he felt like maybe he hadn’t hated anyone in his entire life as much as he hated Rishi right now.

He shook his head. ‘No I mean…’ he didn’t know what to say. So he asked the one thing that his freaked out mind could think about. ‘Does Aishwarya like him? Do you know anything about that?’

Before Ajay could answer, Rishi looked inside the class. Both Vikas and Ajay looked at him. And then they looked in the direction he was looking.

Aishwarya was busy talking to her friend. Then she looked outside the class and Vikas knew their eyes had met.

His eyes jumped to Rishi, and he saw Rishi flashing a smile. And he thought it was a perfect smile. It was cool and it was confident and it was neither too little nor too much. It was perfect. He found himself wishing that he could smile at Aishwarya like that.

And then his eyes darted to Aishwarya, and his stomach flipped and felt like it would jump up in his throat.

Aishwarya returned his smile. It was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. Forget that, Vikas thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

And it was for Rishi.

Aishwarya then quickly looked away and continued talking to her friend. Rishi kept looking at her for a moment longer and then went back to talking to his friends.

Vikas kept looking at them for two moments longer, then went back to the feeling of dread and anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

Ajay kept looking at Vikas for a while, and then said, ‘Hey, look you’re being too chicken. Like calm down. They just… um… just smiled. Maybe nothing will happen. But like, something could happen too. See this is why I kept telling you to make your move. You could have even gone on a few dates with her by now. Hell, maybe she even would’ve become your gf by now and — ’

But Vikas had already zoned out. He wasn’t listening anymore. His mind was going crazy thinking of what he had just seen. Had she ever smiled at him like that? Hell, had she ever just smiled at him? At all? And didn’t that smile mean she was into him? Why else would she smile at him? What — why —

And then the thoughts worsened. The mention of a kiss earlier on came back to haunt him in the worst way possible.

Suddenly Vikas found himself imagining Rishi and Aishwarya kissing. It was the worst thing he could ever imagine. And then he imagined them getting married. He was wrong; this was the worst thing he could ever imagine. And then he imagined them having kids. And even though he had never thought about having kids in his entire life, for some reason, he knew that this, in fact, was actually the worst thing he could ever possibly imagine. And then his mind imagined them kissing again.

Vikas jerked violently and sat up straight. He turned and looked at Ajay with pale and wide eyes. His hands were gripping the table so tight that they had started to turn white.

‘Uh…’ Ajay said, ‘are you alright? You look like you’re going to faint.’

Vikas ignored him and looked at Aishwarya. She was sitting a few seats ahead of him, diagonally. His eyes went to the seat next to her. It was empty.

He gulped and heard the loud sound that his throat made. It felt like something was stuck in his throat. It also felt like maybe something was stuck in his lungs.

He kept looking at the seat. For one moment, his eyes flicked to Rishi, then to the clock that showed class would start within a minute or two, and then back to the empty seat next to Aishwarya.

He made his mind up. He swallowed dry, scorching, empty air once more, stood up and grabbed his bag.

‘Where are you — ’ Ajay began, then his eyes followed Vikas’ gaze. ‘Oh no… don’t tell me you’re actually thinking of doing it?’

Vikas moved sideways and got out of his seat.

‘Oh shit yes!’ Ajay said in an excited whisper. ‘Do it boy do it! Make me proud!’

Vikas was barely listening. It was taking him all the willpower his brain could muster to do this. He realised he had maybe never focused like this in his life. No, he was sure he had never focused like this in his entire life.

He moved his legs and felt like they were made of steel, filled with concrete and reinforced with iron bars. In his mind, Vikas screamed at them to move. Time slowed down and he felt like he would never reach the seat.

He stomped through the final few steps and then stumbled and almost fell into the seat next to Aishwarya.

Aishwarya was surprised and looked at him with wide eyes. And then, after a moment of recognition, a smile appeared on her lips, as wide as her eyes.

And Vikas wondered if he had been transported to the fields of Paradise. Was this what Heaven looked like?

He also noticed that her smile was different. It seemed warmer and bigger than the one she had given to Rishi.

Vikas also realised he was wrong earlier.

Without a doubt, this — was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life.

He gulped again, smiled and then said, ‘Hi.’

Aishwarya giggled a little bit. ‘Hi,’ she said, ‘Um, are you ok?’

‘Yeah, yeah I’m fine, I just slipped a little bit.’

‘You’re clumsy, Mr. Obvious,’ she said.

‘Hah no this was just — maybe I was counting on you to catch me,’ he said.

‘Oh no don’t count on me for such things,’ Aishwarya laughed.

‘What — you have bad reflexes?’ he asked.

‘So what if I do?’ she asked.

‘You wouldn’t last one minute in that zombie apocalypse,’ he said.

‘Well, good thing I live in the real world then,’ she said.

Vikas laughed. Once more, compared to the terror he felt earlier, he could not believe how easy it was to talk to her once he… well, actually started talking to her.

They talked until the class started. And then whenever there was a chance during the class.

After the class ended, he said goodbye to her, and as soon as she left, he felt someone violently slap him on his back.

‘Holy hell!’ Ajay exclaimed, ‘Absolutely unbelievable! Like literally. I actually can’t believe you grew the balls to do that. You’ve really grown up,’ he said with pride.

‘Stuff it,’ Vikas said, nonetheless smiling wide.

And then once again, without intending to, Ajay highlighted his glaring mistake.

‘So you asked her out, right?’

Vikas’ smile immediately dropped and vanished.

***