Faking anything is considered offensive. But is it really such a bad thing?

A child faking an illness to bunk school is simply looking to break the dull monotony of everyday life. An employee faking an emergency to get out of work is just looking to push their head above the waters of suffocating capitalism, and grasp a few and rare breaths of personal freedom. A girl faking interest in her bf’s comic book collection just wants to show him he can be comfortable and himself around her. A scammer pretending to be someone else to grab your financial details is just trying to — maybe the logic doesn’t really work there.

But in essence, faking something isn’t always a bad thing. That’s the wrong way to think about it. The right way to think about it is this: faking something is always an unpredictable thing. Because before you know it, Fake can become Real.

Juhi didn’t want to date seriously. Not for the time being, anyway. Her mind was very clear and very made up on this point. Unfortunately for her, her parents didn’t quite think so. But here’s the thing; dealing with her parents wasn’t such a problematic thing.

Luck had blessed her in the form of an older sister who spoiled her and indulged her any way she could. And so, Juhi knew that she could always just put a gun on her older sister’s shoulder, and fire it off however she liked. One video call from dear ol’ sis and her parents would stop nagging her about marriage.

And as long as things were that way, things would be easy to deal with. But life has a tendency to not make things easy. Life likes to see spice and fun. For Juhi, this came in the form of her oldest friend — her best friend — who took on the role of her surrogate parents and nagged her exactly how her real parents only ever dreamed that they could.

‘See this is the problem with you,’ Gargi was lecturing her one day, ‘You just don’t take anything too seriously. I have no idea how uncle and aunty put up with you.’

‘You should ask them,’ Juhi said, “I’m sure the three of you would get along really well.’

Gargi glared at her. ‘Be as much of a smartass as you want to,’ she said, ‘you’re doing this no matter what. I don’t care about others as much as I do for you.’

Juhi knew Gargi meant it, but she still couldn’t help herself from saying, ‘Oh I’m sure you have a couple more side projects apart from me.’

‘Oh I have loads,’ Gargi replied immediately, ‘but you’re my favourite.’

Juhi laughed.

‘C’mon Ju I don’t like seeing you single like this,’ Gargi said. She saw Juhi open her mouth to argue and hurriedly continued, ‘I know everything you’re going to say cause you’ve said it a thousand times already. But let’s be honest. You’ve been having your “fun single” phase for too long now.’

Juhi agreed there with Gargi. Where she disagreed was in the implication that it was a bad thing. But she didn’t have the desire or strength to argue.

She sighed. ‘Geez ok mom. Tell me about him again.’

Gargi smiled like a ten year old kid receiving a big pack of KitKat. ‘His name is Kabir, he’s really smart — like the actual intellectual types — he’s studying for his PhD right now. But he’s also fun. He’s not boring I swear.’

‘And you want me to become his loving gf,’ Juhi said.

‘Don’t be so dramatic,’ Gargi said, ‘I want you to become his loving wife.’

Juhi rolled her eyes.

‘All I ask for,’ Gargi continued, raising her hands in a gesture of peace, ‘is that you go on one date with him. That’s all. If you hate him, I swear I won’t bother you.’

And that’s how Juhi was here, in her favourite cafe, right now. She knew Gargi wouldn’t stop. She would keep coming at her until Juhi found herself someone to settle down with. But at least, by doing this, she could hold her to her promise for a while and enjoy a few days’ time of peace and freedom.

She looked around the cafe again to check if Kabir had entered when she wasn’t paying attention. Gargi had shown her his profile pic. Juhi was surprised that his looks immediately grabbed her attention. He wasn’t very handsome, but he had a straight, narrow nose, high cheekbones, fair skin, and overall, looked really cute.

And he wore glasses. Juhi would lie to herself if she said the glasses didn’t do something for her.

No one matching this description could be found in the cafe at the moment. Juhi checked the time. He was five minutes late. She was looking for any reason to avoid this date, and wondered if this was enough of a technical reason to just ditch him and go back home.

As if on cue, the door opened, and Kabir walked in.

Juhi was surprised — and a little bit relieved — to find that he looked as good as he did in his profile picture. In fact, since he had clearly dressed to impress for the date, he looked even better.

He scanned the crowd and immediately spotted her. Juhi waved her hand. Kabir came and sat down opposite her with a smile. A smile that, despite Juhi not wanting to believe it, made her feel a little something in her stomach.

‘Hey,’ he said.

‘Hi,’ Juhi said, smiling.

‘So uh… I’m sorry for being late — you weren’t waiting too long were you?’ he asked.

‘Not really,’ she said, then added with a smile, ‘but to be honest, I was thinking of leaving. I don’t like guys who are late on the first date.’

Kabir laughed a little. ‘Oh wow. Tough customer I see,’ he said, ‘What made you stay?’

‘Well, if I’m being honest, Gargi went to a lot of trouble to set this up. I didn’t want to make her feel bad.’

Kabir laughed loudly at this. ‘Yeah I completely get that. That’s the reason I came to the date as well. Can’t afford to disappoint mom now, can I?’ He looked at her with a big smile, and then that smile disappeared as if someone had literally wiped it off his face.

Juhi was looking at him with wide eyes.

‘Uhh ehhh,’ he immediately said, ‘I’m — I didn’t mean to — I’m sorry. I swear I wasn’t trying to insult her or anything like that. She’s actually a really good friend of mine and I — ’

Juhi interrupted him with a laugh. ‘Oh my God the fear!’ she said. ‘Don’t worry I also have a habit of — I was thinking of something else. And anyway, if she were to hear you say that, I think she would only be flattered.’

Kabir laughed and adjusted his glasses. Juhi felt something again. She decided to completely ignore what she had just felt.

‘So,’ she said quickly, ‘why were you thinking of bailing on this date again?’

‘You first. You were too weren’t you?’ Kabir answered.

‘Are you an amateur? I asked first, so you answer first. Your loss for being slow,’ Juhi said.

‘That… is actually fair. Alright,’ Kabir said, ‘long story short, I don’t want to date right now. I’m just… really busy right now. I’m doing my PhD and I really didn’t expect it to be as much of a pain in the ass as it is. So…’

Juhi nodded. ‘And Gargi won’t listen,’ she said.

‘Exactly,’ Kabir said, ‘So, what’s your deal?’

Juhi thought about it, and realised she hadn’t really said anything about this to anyone. She had obviously told Gargi, but only in passing, and only in a few sentences. Even to her sister, she had only said that she was’t interested in dating or marriage right now, and since she had no problems with it, Juhi didn’t have to explain it in any more detail.

‘It’s like…’ she said, thinking about it, ‘Oh damn. Now that I think about it, my reason feels so shallow compared to yours.’

‘C’mon,’ Kabir said, ‘I don’t think any reason is shallow, to be honest. Besides, I told you, so you gotta tell me.’

‘Well… I guess — I just really don’t want to date right now. Or get married. I just want to have fun and live an irresponsible, careless single life.’

Kabir didn’t say anything immediately.

‘Well, I take back what I said. That’s definitely shallow,’ he said then.

Juhi laughed. ‘But like — I can’t help it. I’ve been — well long story short, I feel like I’ve been working hard my whole life. And once I was done with college and got a job it was like — I don’t know it’s like everyone just expects me to get married early. Like —  I just want this time for myself, I think, for now,’ she said.

Juhi was a bit surprised to find that she wanted to say more — that she wanted to babble more. But she stopped herself.

She wasn’t here for fun. She was here for a mission. And the mission was simple: get this over with and go home.

Kabir was nodding. ‘Yeah, I see what you’re saying. I guess girls are expected to just… settle down. Earlier than guys even. So you’ve just told your folks you don’t want to get married yet — flat out?’

‘Welll,’ Juhi said, ‘I wouldn’t say flat-out. But yeah, they have an idea. Thankfully i have an elder sister who seems to have made it her mission to spoil the shit out of me. So that really helps. And I do listen to my folks when they’re talking about marriage and stuff, kinda like… not be so harsh with them… y’know?’

‘I know exactly what you mean. In my case it’s friends. They’re really worried I’ll die alone. So I listen to them when they’re lecturing me about dating seriously and doing my PhD side by side. That’s why I go on these blind dates too.’

‘Yeah exactly,’ Juhi said, looking into his face. She then turned her eyes away, sipped at her coffee, and asked, ‘So… you really want to just focus on your PhD? Like, no distractions at all?’

‘Yeah I do,’ Kabir answered, ‘And once it’s done, I can relax then, right? I mean I guess I’m still in the “work hard” phase. My future plans definitely involve just relaxing as much as I can and not worry about any immediate responsibilities.’

Juhi smiled. She hated to admit this to herself, but she was definitely starting to have fun.

‘Well,’ Kabir added then, ‘I forgot one more thing earlier — regarding the blind dates.’

‘And what’s that?’ Juhi asked.

Kabir looked seriously at her. ‘I do not dare to disappoint Gargi the all-mother.’

Juhi laughed loudly. ‘You and me both. Are we trauma bonding?’

Kabir laughed and nodded enthusiastically.

The date continued, and Juhi knew she was really having fun.

And it kept bothering her that she was really having fun. She didn’t want things to get serious.

But as the date went on, she realised something else. These thoughts of hers were making things needlessly serious. This is what she wanted didn’t she? She wanted to have fun in her life right now, and voilà, here was fun.

And so she decided to just go with the flow.

And as the date went on, she found that both of them had a lot of things in common. She found it really easy and comfortable to talk to Kabir. She found that he was as nerdy as he looked, and would go on tangents when something that really interested him popped up in the conversation. She found that despite this, he never went so far as to actually bore her.

And she also realised that she maybe found him cute and charming when he did this.

And the date went on far longer than either of them had expected it to.

And by the end of it, an idea popped into Juhi’s head. It was, without a doubt, the weirdest, most random and dumbest idea she had ever come up with. But she really wanted to float it by Kabir. Having spent the time with him on this date made her think he would consider it just fun enough too.

They paid the bill and went outside the cafe. Juhi twirled her phone around in her hands, wondering if she should really be taking this idea seriously. And then she thought what the hell.

She told Kabir what was on her mind.

‘Wh — what did you say?’ Kabir said and laughed at the same time.

‘You heard me,’ Juhi answered.

‘Fake dating. Really.’

‘C’mon think about it! It’s perfect. We had fun. I mean at least I did. Didn’t you?’

‘I cannot deny that.’

‘Right? So? It’ll be fun, won’t it? And neither of us wants to date seriously. So this will actually be a beneficial thing for us,’ Juhi said.

‘Yeah… I guess you’re right but like… fake dating?’ Kabir said again, ‘I mean this feels so… it feels like a prank y’know? I mean don’t get me wrong — a really fun prank, but still…’

‘Hey I don’t know about you,’ Juhi said, ‘but it’s very serious for me. I would legit benefit from this. Maybe your life is all rosy when it comes to dating pressures, but mine definitely isn’t.’

‘Oh — oh you think my life is rosy?’ Kabir said. ‘I only told you like half of it back then. You know what the worst part is? The pressure from my friends. And I’m not even talking about Gargi. She’s still very chill compared to my guy friends. It’s crazy how much the guys suddenly become page 3 gossips when they are in relationships and you’re the only one still single.’

‘I thought “bros” were supposed to be very understanding and loyal and all that,’ Juhi said and laughed.

‘Oh don’t get me wrong I would die for them. And I know they would for me. But oh god if I have to hear one more time that I’m wasting my prime years and all that nonsense I’ll kill myself. Now that would be a true waste of my prime years,’ Kabir said. ‘It’s so bad now that I can’t even focus on my thesis properly.’

‘Well, you’re not the only one suffering,’ Juhi said, ‘I can’t even tell anyone that I don’t want to date or marry because I want to have fun. It’s like — they think I’m a careless idiot. But I’m not! I’ve literally been busting my ass since — I don’t know since like 9th class now? Get good grades, get a good university, get a good job. And then when there’s finally some breathing space, I’m supposed to marry off and get even more responsibility?? Like, you don’t know how bad girls have it. At least guys get to have some fun. Girls are supposed to just — immediately become the loving supporting wife.’

Both of them were huffing at this point.

Kabir was right — this girl was definitely fun. He had fun on the date, but tried not to think much about it.

But now, for some reason, he couldn’t stop staring into her eyes. And when he did stop, his eyes flicked to her lips.

He looked away. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want anything serious right now. And so he pushed this feeling deep inside.

He turned to her then. ‘Y’know,’ he said, ‘I think both of us just made really good arguments in favour of your idea.’

Juhi smiled and laughed.

***